The New Year Walk of Shame

One of my goals this year is to adopt a healthier lifestyle and lose some weight – fifty-five (55) pounds at least, ideally more. To that end, I have re-committed myself to Weight Watchers, the program that helped me lose almost eighty (80) pounds about a decade ago. The most recently-introduced Weight Watchers program is called “Weight Watchers 360.”


I’d like to make it very clear that I am not being “compensated for this endorsement” – I just know Weight Watchers works when you follow the program. And that’s where I trip up all the time…

Follow the program. To be honest, I have been a card-carrying member of Weight Watchers – this go ’round – since September of 2011. And, after only a few short weeks of membership in 2011, I had lost twenty-five (25) pounds. I got my award and everything. Then the trouble began.

You see, I need to constantly remind myself that membership alone is NOT what causes weight loss; it is participation and commitment. So, once I stopped tracking and weighing, started nibbling and, um, “slightly over-portioning,” well before I knew it, I had regained ten (10) of those precious lost pounds. Now, as anyone that has ever tried to lose weight will attest, a gain of ten ounces or ten pounds is no different – it is emotionally crushing. It saps your willpower. You become frustrated and angry, although you really have no one to blame but yourself. As weight-loss guru Richard Simmons used to say during his Deal-A-Meal informercials, “No one is holding that fork but you.” Meaning me…

This past Saturday I attended my weekly meeting and weighed in for the first time in 2013. The Weight Watchers counselor asked me to step up onto the scale. The numbers rolled past like I was playing a game on The Price is Right. When the numbers stopped she entered my weight, closed my weigh-in book and told me she was happy to see me. When I finally worked up enough courage to OPEN the booklet, I was happy to see the damage I had inflicted on myself by not weighing in for three weeks (and enjoying every Christmas cookie, candy and sweet that came within five feet of my lips) was not as severe as I had feared. I am, thankfully, actually UNDER a number I hate so in a way, I was happy with the weigh in. But I had gained weight nonetheless…

I always call weigh-ins where I gain weight “Walks of Shame.” 

In this week’s meeting we talked about “Hedonistic Eating,” which is eating for the sheer joy of it. That’s me, a hedonistic eater. To be totally honest, I am rarely hungry. I guess I have eaten hedonistically for so long that I rarely have a chance to GET hungry. I am a serial nibbler. I nibble on fruit, I grab a candy bar at the drug store, I pinch a cookie when I pass thru the kitchen. I don’t really have a trigger food – food IS my trigger.

So I have re-committed to the program. I have reminded myself that it’s not like I am in an iron lung, or a wheelchair or insulin-dependent (yet!) I stepped back and realized that, if counting oyster crackers and spending a few minutes posting in an online food journal were my BIGGEST challenges, I was lucky.

I am also lucky that I have a super-supportive partner who not only celebrates my successes but also comforts me when I am less than successful. He’s an amazing guy. So, I am moving forward into 2013, confident/hopeful that I will have no more walks of shame. Plus, besides myself and my sweet partner, I cannot let Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Hudson down…


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