Urgent From Miss Felicia Luna

I like the “Junk Mail” feature on the server we use at work – it’s pretty effective at culling out SPAM/junk before it hits my mail box (although I frequently do find West Elm’s never-ending sale eblasts in there) I like to look through the junk mail and see what winds up there – usually donation requests from the Republican Party (I tagged the RNC as “junk” long ago), weird random wrist watch offers, “male enhancement” supplement fliers and assorted other junk. I usually just click “empty folder” and flush it all away; however, today one piece of junk mail caught my attention. The subject line? URGENT FROM HOSPITAL 

You probably already know/recognize this as one of those scam emails that promise millions of dollars, or Euros, for just doing the sender one favor, one simple task that no one on earth can apparently do but you. I found this request for “help” particularly inventive and have reprinted it here for you to enjoy in its entirety. It is signed by a “woman” named Miss Felicia Luna – this is what I imagine she looks like:

African American woman in pink headdressThis picture was, of course, taken before Miss Felicia Luna took “gravely ill” and “entered hospital,” whereupon she began the search in earnest to find someone to help her disperse her money. (BTW, just to be clear, the image above is a stock image of an African Woman in a pink headdress – the caption on the pic – and not REALLY Miss Felicia Luna, because I am sure there IS no Felicia Luna).

Here’s my question – does ANYONE really fall for these scams? Anyway, here is “her” email to me. Again, this is a SCAM; I am just sharing it because it made me chuckle…

Dear Beloved One,

This is Miss Felicia Luna from Trinidad & Tobago.I am writing from the hospital
in  Ivory Coast , therefore this mail is very urgent, as you can see that I am
dying in the hospital. I was told by the doctor that i was poisoned and has got
my liver damaged and can only live for some months.

I inherited some money ($3.5 Million) from my late father and i cannot think of
anybody trying to kill me apart from my step mother in order to inherit the
money, she is an Ivorian by nationality.
 
I have a little orphan child called who has being with me, named Martins Henry,
my step mother and her children are after him and because of that he ran far
away where he is hiding now, so I want you to help him out of this country with
the money

I want you to contact Martins with this information below:
Orphan  Martins Henry.
Address: Rue De La Princess L/G 152 Cocody
Abidjan, Cote D’Ivoire.
Email: martinshenry1997@yahoo.co.jp

He will give you the documents of the money and will direct you to a well known
lawyer that i have appointed, the lawyer will assist you to change the documents
of the money to your name to enable the bank transfer the money to you.
 
This is the favour i need when you have gotten the money :-

(1) Give 20% of the money to Martins as he has been there for me throughout my
illness and i have promised to support him in life. I want you to take him along
with you to your country and establish him as your son.
 
(2) Give 30% of the money to handicap people and charity organization.

Note; This should be a code between you and Martins in this transaction
“Hospital” any mail from him, the barrister he will direct you to, without this
code “Hospital” is not from the barrister, Martins, the bank or myself as I
don’t know what will happen to me in the next few hours.

(3) the lawyer’s name is Mc Lambert Adams. And Let Martins send you his
International Passport as he has no passport to be sure of who you are dealing
with. Martins is so little, therefore guide him.
 
And if I don’t hear from you, I will look for another person or an organization.

Please do not forget to contact Martins Henry with martinshenry1997@yahoo.co.jp
May Almighty God bless you and use you to accomplish my wish.
Pray for me always.
 
Miss Felicia Luna

Me again: So, I need to help Martins because he is young but has access to email and works with an attorney. Hmmm… He feared for his life and ran “far away” but Miss Luna has shared his complete address here. Hmmm… I guess she must really trust me, LOL!. Finally, “young” Martins coordinates attorneys and barristers and legal documents. Hmmm…

So, sure, it is a scam but I was impressed with her faux accent and modified African English – plus, in addition to giving me 1.75 million dollars just for helping her, she also wants to help handicapped people and gave me God’s Blessing. It kinda’ makes me wish Miss Felicia Luna  – and her millions – really existed…

One response to “Urgent From Miss Felicia Luna

  1. That made me smile. There is certainly an element of creativity in these letters… I have teenagers in summer art camp next week. This could make for an interesting creative writing exercise… write your own scam letter.

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