Post-Christmas Bottomfeeders

Today was my first day back to work after a week-long vacation over Christmas. I had a GREAT week off, so I thought I was well-rested and prepared to return to work.

I wasn’t. I guess I had forgotten about “Post-Christmas Bottomfeeders.” Don’t know that term?

Post-Christmas (adj.) – In retail jargon, the few days immediately following 25 December, usually associated with the heavy discounting of holiday items to reduce inventory.

Bottomfeeder (noun) – In the world of retail, a bottomfeeder is a person that shops your store typically during sales/promotional periods and ONLY buys deeply discounted product.

Oh yeah, today was THAT day. If it had been a bad horror film, my day would have been titled “Attack of the Bottomfeeders,” or maybe “Bottomfeeder Frenzy” or even “Coven of the Evil Bottomfeeders.”

They always display the same characteristics: Bottomfeeders always travel in pairs. Bottomfeeders always ask for discounts above-and-beyond those listed. Bottomfeeders must all have poor eyesight because the things they say to each other within earshot of clerks – in this case, ME! – are borderline offensive and usually stupid. Can they not see me?

If my life were an episode of “Batman and Robin” (the TV series), my day would have been punctuated as follows (one last note – these remarks all actually were spoken today while I was at work):

Big-haired bottomfeeder to her friend: “Thank God I didn’t buy these ornaments LAST week and pay too much for them.” BTW? She didn’t buy them today, either!slapTall female bottomfeeder to me at check out: “Since I am paying you in cash, can you forget about the sales tax, or can I take another ornament for free?”

powAnd probably the most annoying remark of the day, spoken loudly to give me a chance to respond: “I like these Christmas trees but if they are 50% off this week, they will be 75% off next week, “ to which I replied, smiling, “I doubt if those will still be here next week.” The bottomfeeder looked at me and said, “You hope…”

punchListen, I get it – no one wants to overpay for anything. I mean, I myself am a bottomfeeder. However, I do show respect to sales clerks and retail employees and, quite honestly, have some couth. Most retail shoppers are really nice people, probably more than 99% of them, but it is always the not-so-nice ones we remember.

And we do… 

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