5 Minutes

Today is the first entry in a series that I will affectionately title, “Tim’s Little White Lies; Decoding the Confusing Meaning of Tim Speak.”

The word or phrase under examination today? 5 minutes.

5-Minutes5 minutes (noun) – Often combined with the words “just” or “only,” 5 minutes denotes an unknown and undefinable amount of time which is ALWAYS greater than 5 minutes.

Here are some examples:

“I can be ready in like 5 minutes.” Or,

“I’m gonna’ log on Facebook for like 5 minutes.” Or – as happened today,

“I am going to stretch out here for only 5 minutes before I go blog.”

That 5 minutes of “stretching out here” turned into a heavenly two HOUR nap beside my Sweetie, following an amazing Sunday brunch spent with two of our dearest friends and two new friends.

I’m not sure why I cannot simply speak the truth – but I guess these statements:

“It will take me probably 20/25 minutes to get dressed and ready.” Or,

“I will be logging on to Facebook now, and spending the next hour and a half laughing at cat memes, reading status updates and playing Candy Crush.” Or,

“I am stuffed obscenely full of great food and am going to now enter a carb coma, sleeping here until I wake up.”

…really are more accurate and honest but not really what anyone ever wants to hear, myself included! Sigh…

It might be a day or two early for New Year’s resolutions but in 2014, I plan/hope/desire to be more truthful, succinct and accurate in my speech. That said, I suppose I should start a list of resolutions now, so I don’t forget.

I mean, it would take like 5 minutes to write all this stuff down…

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