Our New Computer – WTF?

I know I shared our recent experience with buying a new computer after our twelve-year-old Dell bit the dust. Just to give some perspective on the transition, our old desktop was running Windows XP; the new operating system is Windows 8 – soon to be Windows 8.1. To say it has been a, um, rude technology awakening after more than a decade is an understatement. I mean, WTF?

My Beloved has been working diligently for four straight days now, setting up the “tiles” and moving the “charms” (the change in terminology alone is maddening – what the hell happened to “icons?”) But today was the worst… Today, after running/waiting 2.5 hours while ninety-nine updates uploaded – that’s right, 99 updates – my Sweetie began the process of “trusting” the new computer…

It felt something like this:

Gun To HeadI’m not even sure what the hell “trusting the computer” means, but I do know it involved changing what felt like a zillion passwords and requesting/waiting for security codes – which each time were sent to long-dormant email accounts. The accounts were SO old I had to be reminded of those passwords so I could then wait and punch in “minimum 8 characters, a mix of upper and lower case, with one numeric character.” Really?

I am not part of a covert network hoping to deploy an intercontinental ballistic missile attack against Russia. I mean, the security “protocols” on this computer make me feel like I am regarded either as the HIGHEST possible security breach risk or else I am being monitored by the government. Really, what the hell?

I send emails. I waste time on Facebook (and Tumblr and Twitter). I use the internet instead of a phone book to look up addresses, plus-four zip codes and phone numbers. I have a lot of pictures. NONE of these “activities” would suggest to me that I be forced to enter a security “bubble” that seems as impenetrable as the Pentagon. And – to be honest – my frustration is a FRACTION of the frustration and aggravation my hubby feels. He is the ANGEL doing all this set-up work for me/us. He is a god…

I guess I should have expected this transition would be a painful one. As Pop-pop (my Dad) always says, “Leave it to Americans to complicate the easiest of tasks.” Pop-pop actually words that a bit more strongly but that is close enough… In comparison to this experience, I have applied for management jobs in the past that had less security “tests” that setting up this computer. I keep waiting for the computer to ask me the results of my polygraph test.

Really, I just want a desktop with easy-to-understand “buttons” – look, I won’t use icon or tile or charm – I call them buttons. I want to “click” a button with my cursor and have Facebook open, not be forced to answer a two-tier security question. To be honest, at this moment, the image below better represents my mood tonight. HP? Microsoft? You have been warned.

kill computer

One response to “Our New Computer – WTF?

  1. I refuse to give up my XP. I took a class in Excel and Powerpoint, both 2010 and almost lost my mind. My XP is like comfort food. I empathize with what you’re going through.

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