More Unsolicited Small Business “Advice”

Today I was grousing about how slow the retail component of my business has been lately when – again! – I got another bit of stellar, unsolicited advice about how to “drive business.” I should point out that this bit of small business success advice I received, like much of the advice I receive, came from someone that – to the best of my knowledge – has never OWNED their own small business. As always, I am sure that advice came with good intentions from a kind heart but, OMG, this kind of stuff drives me C-R-A-Z-Y.

The advice? “You should have an event.”

What? Right after I share that business had been lackluster recently and cash flow is a little slow, your advice to me is to “…have an event?” Have an event and spend money I do not have in the hopes of making enough money to at least “break even” on the COST of the event? And what type of event would you have me host?

See, even the word “event” makes me bristle. To me these are “events” –

Moon Walk

circus

USS Jason Dunham

Burning ManSo, yeah – to me, “event” implies something memorable and historic, not two dozen cookies from Costco and some bottled waters. I know I sound snarky – and I believe this person absolutely had the best of intentions – but giving small business advice should be like giving parenting advice: if you have no kids, you don’t GET to say “what you would do” unless asked. Same with small business advice: unless you own a successful retail store, please refrain from dispensing advice unless asked. Additionally, I personally feel “events” draw event “go-ers” – you know, people looking for something fun to do. Events do not drive business – heck, I’m not even sure if they “get your name out there.” I think they tend to draw fun people looking to have fun. I am looking for a way to attract people that think spending their money in my store is “fun.”

Ideas, anyone? And please, no one suggest hiring a food truck. .. THX!

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