I think whenever a person uses the word “relationship” in a conversation, thoughts turn immediately to primary relationships – romantic relationships – our husbands, wives and lovers. But isn’t any sustained friendship between two people technically a relationship? And – just like “primary” relationships, are there not spoken (or unspoken) rules about honesty and trust, sharing and commitment? I personally don’t think you have to get naked and do the horizontal mambo with someone to be in a relationship with him/her.
So, given that concept, it follows – at least for me – that occasionally, one will find it necessary to have an open, honest discussion with the other person in that relationship about whatever. As with all relationships, sometimes hard conversations are necessary. Truthful, honest discussions of where “we” are, what our shared and (apparently) divergent thoughts are about the future of the relationship and how we move forward towards a shared goal or, simply hug, accept the different visions and hopefully remain friends while establishing a new paradigm for the relationship. Sadly, in my life, I have always found this reality to be true:
Hard Conversations = Crushed Dreams
Maybe that is a slightly jaded perspective from someone who has been a part of too many hard conversations – sometimes leading them, sometimes listening to them. Neither “side” of these conversations is the “easy” side. But, as my therapist always says, “The truth is sometimes tragic, sometimes joyful, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes uplifting. The truth can make your life complete or turn your life upside down. But no matter what the outcome of speaking/seeing the truth, it remains, simply that. The truth. What is. Reality.”
I am coming to realize/accept/acknowledge that a hard conversation is perhaps long overdue in my life. The time has passed for pretty words and pictures; the time is upon us for realities, maybe harsh, but realities… I am not looking forward to this conversation; as I previously mentioned, there is no “good end” of a hard conversation. Wish me luck…