What Is WRONG With Me?

Today I worked my job at the gift shop and – for probably like the kahjillionth time – I heard several parents give their children the following directive as they entered our store:

“Remember, NO TOUCHING ANYTHING. Let’s LOOK WITH OUR EYES, not our hands…”

So, besides the fact that I think such guidance could damage young children’s perception of how our senses work (I mean, like, would you ever say, “No tongue – let’s remember to taste with our ears,”), every time I hear a parent say that phrase, my mind goes to this guy, The Pale Man from the movie, “Pan’s Labyrinth:”

monsterI want to lurk around the store in this make-up and, every time I hear a parent say, “Let’s look with our eyes, not our hands,” I  want to be able to jump out, dressed like The Pale Man, and scream at them, “Look, I am looking at you with my eye hands. That’s right, My EYE HANDS.”

What the heck is wrong with me?

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