Waiting for Stage 5

A week from today, the business that I helped co-found, co-create and co-own will be, in the physical sense, gone. Closed. No more. Nada. And that makes me beyond sad…

In her (now iconic) 1969 book, “On Death and Dying,” author Elisabeth Kübler-Ross outlined the five stages of normal grief that happen when the loss of a loved one occurs. These five steps are, in order:

1. Denial and Isolation

Entering the state of Denial

2. Anger

Shô's_anger

3. Bargaining

a sign

4. Depression

depression_by_3rd3m

5. Acceptance

acceptance

With all due respect to anyone that has lost a loved one, I believe that the shuttering of my retail store is probably just as devastating – perhaps even more so as it impacts my income. I seem to be frozen at Step 4, and keep asking The Universe to grant me Acceptance.

I spent some time at my soon-to-be-closed store this afternoon, clearing boxes out of the basement and getting ready for our final big “Move Out” one week from today. The basement is now all but empty; a few boxes of records and old client files remain. Upstairs on the main “selling floor,” our once beautiful showroom has been cannibalized by bargain hunters, leaving behind a broken assortment of mismatched pillows and furniture, rugs with no “room settings” and some random art on the walls.

I started crying today as I sat alone in the store, no music, no people, no future. It was a great six and half year run, but now it is almost over and I am sad. I hope depression gives way to acceptance soon. I keep reminding myself that there are many positives in my life – my Beloved Martin, a handful of great friends and a supportive family. I also have a reasonable job, and will continue “doing design” as a freelancer. I guess I just never really realized what a sort of physical anchor the brick and mortar store was in my life, until today…

2 responses to “Waiting for Stage 5

  1. Oh Tim! It is a HUGE loss. Please know that you are not defined by that brick and mortar, but it’s okay to be sad about the loss of it. Thinking of you!!

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