Poor poor me

Im Poor

I have never understood the seemingly discordant relationship between the amount of time it takes to MAKE money versus the amount of time it takes to SPEND money. For example, I need a new set of tires for our car, and suspect four new tires will cost between $600 – $800 dollars. It has taken me a bit of time to earn/save that money and yet, it will be spent in the blink of an eye. One debit card “swipe” and “POOF!” that money is out of my account. Gone. As though it never existed there.

That sucks, I think.

It seems like you should feel good about spending money for at least half as long as it took you to earn and/or save it. Another example: many of my friends save all year to go on a one week vacation. Saving? 358 days. Enjoying? 7 days.

That just isn’t fair. Plus, who gives a sh*t about new tires, I mean, none of our friends have ever invited us over for dinner and to “take a gander at their new tires.” Ugh. I hate being poor…

Universe? Could you possibly send me the winning Mega Millions numbers in a dream? I would be the kindest, most generous and most humble mega-rich person ever. Promise.

No, really… Give me $200 million dollars and just watch all the good that I will do. I am waiting…

Monday Memes 17

With everything going on in my life right now, my anxiety and “weirdness” is a bit much for even my Beloved Martin to handle. I have come to rely on my close friends for additional support and “back-up” – emotional, physical and spiritual. For example, tonight I spent 90 minutes on the phone with one of our besties (Thanks, Joe!), just rambling on and on and on and on… And he listened. He was is awesome…

With that type of relationship and support in mind, I’d like to share these three memes about friendship today – these thoughts and observations regarding friendship have rung especially true with me in recent weeks. Enjoy.


real friends



Oh bother…

Lately I feel like such an old curmudgeon – I kinda’ just want to stay home, by myself, and do nothing. I am not depressed, or lonely or agoraphobic (Google it). The fact is, I enjoy being by myself; I can get lost for hours “doing nothing.” I have like 1000 tiny projects to get done – most requiring probably only 10 or 15 minutes – that I can never seem to find the time for, things like: potting the plants I bought (now) two weeks ago that are still out on our balcony, mending my cute penguin PJ bottoms that have a hole in the crotch (I know, “crotch” – such an ugly word) – the PJ bottoms that have been laying on the bed in our guest room for honestly about 18 months now (since Christmas 2012!), hanging the cute postcards in the little glass frames that have been arranged “on the floor” in our guest room for 3 weeks or so (our guest room sees few guest, LOL!), all these things and probably like 997 more.

The good news? Tonight is the eve of a four-day holiday weekend for me. The bad news? It is a four-day holiday weekend so I am obligated to “have fun” and “celebrate the long weekend.” In the inimitable words of one of my favorite literary characters, Winnie-the-Pooh, “Oh bother.”

oh botherYou see – I know I have shared with you all before – I all but dread holiday weekends, with their inherent demands of “having a good time.” Believe me, I am all for fun, but it is fun for me to spend a day doing mindless tasks – PJ mending, plant potting, picture hanging – all these “tedious” chores actually bring me joy. I often wonder if there is something “wrong” with me; my Beloved and I have AMAZING, gracious and generous friends, friends that enrich our lives and make us feel loved. I/we are very lucky that way. So I guess I feel guilty sometimes that I’d rather spend the day shuffling around the house in my PJ’s (not the hole-y crotch ones), or go out walking for two hours with only keys in my pocket and nothing in my head. Is it wrong to want to live so simply and quietly?

I am kinda’ busted this weekend. Turns out I will be working on The Fourth (tomorrow) for a large part of the day, Saturday I have family plans, Sunday I will be spending the day with our besties (and hooray! for that) and Monday I am starting a new personal endeavor that will occupy a large part of the day (more on that later). So my four-day weekend is full already, but not completely overwhelmed with “holiday fun demands.” And that is OK by me…

Who knows? I may still find a spare 15-20 minutes in there somewhere to re-arrange my lower kitchen cabinets and find a place to store the round cheese board with the glass dome, the one my Sweetie and I bought on a whim for no good reason. If not, that’s OK.

The domed cheese board has only sat on our kitchen table for about two months. The penguin PJ’s are still in the lead…

Laughter Makes Life Better

Friday afternoon, at 4:45P, our besties Scott and Joe called and asked if my Sweetie and I had any “plans for the evening.” We didn’t. Fast forward one hour and ten minutes later, and the four of us are hanging out on their killer patio, just laughing and relaxing around their awesome fire pit. Scott and Joe are amazing friends – generous, thoughtful, kind and loving. And kick ass cooks, too! We are lucky to have them in our lives. No matter what we do – be it a scheduled event or an impromptu outdoor dinner – we always have a great time with them, sharing stories, just hanging out and laughing. This graphic reminds me of the value of friendship, and definitely speaks to the relationship we share. We adore those guys…


Super Saturday – And A Quiz

Proving that The Universe is indeed loving and benevolent, today I have enjoyed a GREAT Saturday – indeed, I might call it a Super Saturday (no sports reference intended or implied). After yet another somewhat challenging week at work, this day has been a breath of fresh air for sure…

It all started unremarkably enough with my weekly Weight Watcher’s weigh in. I must confess I was not surprised that the scales bore witness to my less-than-attentive efforts this past week but it was nothing unexpected or surprising. As with so many areas in my life – work, therapy, weight loss – when I focus and “put in the work” I see the results. So, I forgave myself and forged ahead with my day.

A surprise call from our friends Joe and Scott really turned my morning around. Scott and Joe are super BFF’s to Martin and me and they wanted to know if we felt like having an “Adventure Day” – lunch and shopping. What? I mean what could be better, right? Great friends + Spontaneity = Super Day! So, Scott and Joe swung by and picked us up, we had a great lunch at a “celebrated” local deli (thick-cut Challah Granola French Toast – know why my Weight Watcher’s weigh-in was bad?) and then we were off to shop!

We spent probably an hour and a half at a big home goods store, looking at everything for nothing in particular. It was fun to just kill time and laugh with good friends. It is also always fun to watch other couples interact, if only to remind me that when we bicker (Martin and I), we are no different than other couples, gay or straight – we laugh, we argue, we “make-up” and we love each other the entire time. Anyhow, it was super fun and it was during this part of the day that my entry in the “Gayest Remark of the Day” Contest happened…

As we were in the bedding department, Joe handed me a set of sheets which had some embroidery detailing and some “open work” and said he thought I’d like them, to which I responded:

“I am a pretty big fan of the embellished sheet.” And – although I am – we all laughed about how “gay” that sounded. It was a cute moment for sure.

embroidered bed linens

The four of us had a blast, and we all got some great stuff (I did not buy the sheets, LOL!) After that store, we actually went to a nearby natural foods market, where we shopped for a few things. The store is lovely – and I was again reminded that “healthy eating = expensive eating” – but more than anything, that experience reinforced to me that good friends, people that you love and love you back, can do anything and have a great time. I mean, I was in a grocery store looking at prickly pear leaves, having a blast.

marketAfter we checked out, our friends drove us home through some of the streets of gorgeous, stately homes that populate our neighborhood (we live in an apartment). As we oogled at huge Tudors, Georgians and Colonials, imagining who lived in each and what they did for a living, Joe turned in his submission for the “Gayest Remark of the Day” Contest. As we all were looking at a huge brick Colonial which, oddly enough, did only have shutters on one half the windows, Joe offered this bon mot:

“Windows look naked without shutters. Shutters are like eye shadow on a house.” Again, we all agreed and laughed really hard.

Anyhow, in spite of their insistence that we join them for cedar plank grilled salmon at their house (we are going tomorrow night instead – hooray!), Martin and I came home. We thanked the boys for a really fun, really relaxed and comfortable day. We hugged them and away they went. Martin and I headed in… On the way, we stopped and grabbed the mail.

In today’s mail was a brief but very touching note card from our dear friends Chris and Reinhold, written as they were flying from San Francisco to Germany. Those two guys are our West Coast besties – we share a similar history and struggles and are all now at good places. It was an unexpected and beautiful moment, and I feel privileged to know those gents. That short note from Germany reminded me that the world, while huge, is actually very small and physical distance never diminishes the closeness of the hearts of friends. I cannot wait to go visit those guys again.air mailSo, now I am off to watch a movie with my Beloved – another Saturday night in, which is awesome. I know The Universe hears me bitch and moan a lot so today, I want to say “Thank You!” for an awesome day, thank you for awesome friends, thank you for an awesome spouse (Love you, MSW!) and thank you for a life that is, indeed, pretty awesome. I sometimes forget how lucky I am – thanks for the reminder today!

PS – Don’t forget to leave your selection for the “Gayest Remark of the Day” Contest in the comments below. Who will win, Tim or Joe?  😀

Look How Far We’ve Come

Last night, my beloved Martin and I enjoyed a post-Valentine’s Day dinner and movie night with our besties, Joe and Scott. After dining on melt-in-your-mouth filet mignons, roasted fingerling potatoes, oven-roasted asparagus, delicious spiral-sliced zucchini and the most mouth-watering, fresh-from-the-oven rosemary sourdough bread ever (Joe and Scott are gourmet cooks – I love them and am intimidated by them at the same time, LOL!), we enjoyed the 1980 gay cult classic, “Can’t Stop the Music,” featuring the Village People. It is a cinematic time capsule and unintentionally shows just how far America’s LGBT community has come since its release:

I remember seeing this film in a theater in Columbus, Ohio in 1980 (on one of the three days it probably survived in theaters!) I can remember sitting in the dark, a reasonably-out-for-the-time 22 year old “gay” and smiling at all the inside jokes in the movie that I was sure only “the gays” would understand, things like –

A male performer (in gold lame hot pants, no less!) twirling two fire batons, the actor credited as “James the Flame” at the end of the movie. James’ one big line in the movie? “James is my name, flaming’s my game.” 

Then there is the goodbye scene between actors Paul Sand and Valerie Perinne, where Perrine’s character leads on/flirts with ex-lover Sand through an extended goodbye that is a string of song titles, the passage ending with Olivia Newton John’s “I Honestly Love You.” So clever…

When complimented on her outfit, character Sydney Channing, owner of THE leading modeling agency in NYC, calls out the designer layers of her apparel as “…Halston, Gucci, Fiorucci” – a clear reference to the lyrics from “He’s The Greatest Dancer” by legendary disco group, Sister Sledge.

And finally, there are the Village People themselves. The G.I. The Construction Worker. The Leatherman. The Cowboy. The Indian. The Police Officer. Iconic gay male stereotypes. I remember thinking they were kinda’ “hot” in 1980. Last night? They looked like bad sitcom caricatures of gay men. I mean, Glenn the Leatherman’s big line in the movie? “Leathermen aren’t supposed to cry.”

We all laughed and guffawed as we watched. The acting is wooden. The plot is stupid. And – speaking of stupid? Did ANYONE in 1980 actually think those six poof-tahs in the Village People could possibly be straight?

villagepeople-1No offense, gents, but looking back at the film now? You look like a bad girl group, prancing around on stage, probably opening for someone like Miley Cyrus.

Listen, I am SO happy that the Village People “blazed the way” (another flaming reference) on the way to LGBT equality. But last night, sitting watching that movie with my legally-wed husband and our best friends that have been partnered for like a zillion years, well, I was reminded how far gays and lesbians have come in my lifetime. And while The G.I. has probably been replaced by The UPS Man, and The Construction Worker has probably been replaced with The Heart Doctor, I acknowledge and thank those men and women who were brave enough in 1980 to make that movie. While we still have a ways to go, we have indeed come a long, L-O-N-G way.

S-s-s-s-slow Saturday Night

I would like to borrow – loosely – the lyrics from “Piano Man” by Billy Joel –

“It’s five o’clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd blah blah blah…”

After yesterday’s post, lamenting how days are never long enough, how I never get enough done, etc., I have decided to go “off the clock” tonight, slowing life way the frick down…


I did accomplish a few things today already – I made my weekly WW weigh in (lost 2.8 pounds!), stopped at the post office to mail a package/get some stamps, met with an artist friend about the the upcoming designers’ showcase my firm is doing, paid a few bills and best of all? I enjoyed a decadent, 1.5 hour hap with my beloved today.

I know, so bad, right?

Tonight we are having “Dinner and a Movie Night” with two of our besties. It will be fun, easy and uber-relaxing. The only thing I plan on worrying about tonight? Will Katniss and Peeta survive the other tributes in the new games (I didn’t read the books, dammit!)

P and KMay you all enjoy a relaxing, mindless Saturday night. See you back here again tomorrow!