This has been on my desktop for a while: A step-by-step guide to tying an Eldredge Tie Knot:
I mean really – who thinks this stuff up? What man in their right mind would ever commit to wearing a necktie with a knot that requires fifteen – FIFTEEN – separate, coordinated steps to create the desired look? No one I know…
Listen, don’t get me wrong. I like to think I am “fashion forward.” And I really, really do like ties – they are the ONLY fashion accessory that men have that allows us to compete with women and their scarves and hats and jewelry, etc. Mens’ suits remain fairly standard from season to season to season – sure, maybe the lapels get skinnier or wider – or disappear all together, but men are essentially given shoes, socks, pants, shirts and jackets – not too many pieces to have fun with. But ties, OMG, ties – woven, printed and knitted ties. Silk or linen or woolen ties. Skinny or wide, long or short, bow tie or standard – ties are the ONLY men’s fashion accessory, in my humble opinion.
So why the Eldredge Knot?
Surely the man that wears this knot has a delicate neck and an extremely L-O-N-G necktie. Remember – fifteen steps, many involving a “wrap” or a “twist.” And forget about a small circumference neck – the man that sports an Eldredge must have a long, graceful neck – like a giraffe – otherwise that massive knot of fabric at his throat would swallow his face. But who wears this knot?
Look how dapper that looks, with a sporty button down collar and a cute sweater vest. But wait – a skull and crossbones tie bar? Really? Pre-pubescent facial hair? Oh, NOW I see who wears this knot – this guy:
Yup. A hipster, of course. So, if I “deconstruct” this pic – this guy has never started shaving, the vest is a thrift-shop find, he spends 25 minutes using Bed Head hair products to make his hair look like he never combed it, the button-down shirt is a gift from his parents at Christmas and the tie knot is a quiet-but-bold personal fashion statement that says, “Hey bro’, I am cool.” (I guess the skull and crossbones tie bar and/or the ear gauges were maybe too understated?) And he drinks chai lattes.
You know what? More power to this guy, and any man that wants to risk getting hives in an attempt to tie this complicated knot. Maybe I don’t know a lot about men’s fashion but I do know this – when your tie knot is approximately the same size/shape as your chin, well, maybe it’s not the greatest fashion statement.
At least not for me…