Happy Birthday, Grammy

Today is my Mom’s birthday; she would have been 78 years old today.

She passed away quite unexpectedly almost seven years ago. I think about and miss her every single day of my life.

BBBday

Here are a few pics of Grammy (as she came to be called after her grandchildren arrived) and my big mug, too. I wish I had better pictures of my Mom. She hated having her picture taken – she was never happy with how she looked. I wish she could have known just how beautiful a woman she was…

My Mom had a not-so-great early life. The details are unimportant now, but she battled (I think) with moderate depression for much of her life. The one thing that DID bring her great joy? Her children, and her grandchildren. She loved us all unconditionally and – speaking only for myself – I am not sure that love was always deserved, yet she lavished it on all of us. She also loved my Dad like crazy, was a devoted friend and a crazy cool Mom. I loved her all my life – still do. She taught me to be loving and forgiving, accepting and tolerant, caring and embracing. She encouraged my creative side and was herself a talented artist – maybe not in a “museum” sense, but she was a killer doodler and quite honestly had the most beautiful, expressive handwriting of anyone I have ever known. Grammy was funny and sensitive. She could cuss like a sailor and cry when she saw some random cat that had been hit by a car.

My Mom stayed home with us till my little sister started school, then returned to work. She worked in a large department store for more than twenty years, went on to work at IBM (clerical position) and eventually worked part-time at our hometown drugstore/gift shop. She maintained a close circle of girlfriends that treated us like their own children – it was kinda’ great growing up, thinking my “Mom was cool and had cool friends, too.” My Mom ALWAYS supported every choice I made – even when they were bad ones. People might think that makes her a bad parent but – to the contrary – she let me find my own path, most times cheering me along from the sidelines but more than a handful of times, picking my broke-down self up and making me feel good again.

Grammy kicked ass. She is my Angel and, although I HATE her not being her with me, I know she watches over me. And that makes me feel loved and safe. Grammy ALWAYS made me feel loved and safe. And isn’t that what being a GREAT parent really is all about?

So, yeah, I am a little sad today, thinking about my Mom/Grammy and missing her a bit more than usual. But I am happy that she was/is my Mom, and feel blessed by that fact.

I try not to dwell in sadness too much so today my siblings and I, and Grammy’s grandchilden, all celebrated her memory in a special way. My Mom LOVED McDonald’s ice cream. L-O-V-E-D. (“Best 50 cents you can spend!” she used to say). So in Grammy’s honor, we all took time to enjoy a vanilla soft serve cone from Mickey D’s today.

Besides that fact that Grammy loved these cones, they are a lot like Grammy herself:

So sweet, so enjoyable, so perfect and – sadly – gone all too soon…

Happy Birthday, Mom! I hope today has been great for you. I love and miss you. A lot. Your loving son, Tim

white noise

Frequently, writers and bloggers face “writer’s block,” or “the blank page.” They cannot generate a single thought, idea or topic to share, or explore or consider. They are “empty.”

Today, my situation is quite the opposite; I have SO many thoughts and ideas to share and examine that I am having trouble distilling one down into a post subject. If you are old enough, you can maybe remember when TV stations “ended their broadcast days” and the screens went blank, filled with “snow” and “white noise.” That’s what’s in my head tonight:

whitenoiseI have too many things running thru my brain tonight, not the least of which are thoughts of my Mom. Tomorrow would have been my Mother’s 77th birthday (she passed away in 2008). I think about her almost every day and, most days it’s OK. Some days – like tonight and tomorrow – it is/will be harder. So like those old TV stations of yesteryear, I am “signing off” for today and will “resume regular broadcasting” tomorrow. Thanks for understanding…

A lick and a promise

When I was a little kid, my Mom used to always kinda’ hate housework, saying she’d give the floor “A lick and a promise” to hold it over till the day she could really clean. I feel that way about my blog entry today; I cannot find/make the time I normally devote to my posts.

I have been up since 6:15AM. I had Weight Watchers this morning (down 1.8 pounds this week — HOORAY!), then I drove through the bank to grab some dough, came home, posted to my business’ Facebook page, grabbed my SBF and was off to work. I work 11A till 6P today. Work has been an annoying challenge this week as our computer “bit the dust” and every transaction has to be recorded by hand (At the moment, I am on my beloved’s laptop – borrowed for a few minutes – to crank out this feeble post). The computer will live again after “3-5 business days” for the part to get here.

After work, Martin and I are going to our friends Scott and Joe’s house for dinner. They are RIDICULOUSLY great cooks (chefs, really!) and time just flies by when we are all together. Add to the mix their dog, Xander, an uber-chill giant schnauzer that Martin LOVES and it is easy to predict that we won’t get home till probably close to midnight.

So I cannot figure out a window for proper posting today. I hope you understand and enjoy this insanely cute picture of a kitten licking his paw. I leave you with this lick – and my promise to be back tomorrow, time better managed, with another witty, insightful and/or inspiring post. Thanks for understanding!

Image