Spontaneous Friends

Martin and I like to think we are great “spontaneous friends,” meaning that we are up for most anything at a moment’s notice. This is a gift, an easygoing way of being that I think most of our circle of friends appreciate. Does that mean that we don’t have a certain Halloween party already on the calendar for October? Is there a “Holiday Happening” coming up in December that we cannot/will not miss? Of course – everybody plans for special days and events but I think too many of us try to plan too much. be spontaneousSure, maybe that philosophy sounds a little ‘fiddle-dee-dee” but today is a perfect example.

My Sweetie has been trying to get together with one of his dearest – if not best – friends all summer. That have text-ed and called and scheduled back and forth until the summer is all but over, never able to make a date. Last night, I encouraged my Beloved to text his friend, say that he was off today and ask her what time could they get together for coffee.

As it turns out, they have been together all day today (I haven’t heard a thing!) See? Spontaneous friends…

Same with tonight. My Angel and I were invited last night for an impromptu backyard dinner tonight with our two besties. No weeks-in-the-making moment – just a simple, “Hey, wanna’ come over Friday night and we’ll hang out?” kinda’ thing. It was a nice surprise and Martin and I are really looking forward to it. I think our friends are, too..

When it comes to friends and friendship, if you have to “work” to schedule times to get together, well, that makes me a little sad. It makes friendship seem like, well, work to me – schedules and plans and time slots. Our close friends are always welcome at our place – we may be in raggedy sweat pants with yuck-y hair (like I even HAVE a lot of hair) but people that you know and love, people that matter to you, well,they should always be able to stop, visit and laugh with you without an appointment. Surprise and spontaneity make life more joyful and fun.

Give it a try – pick a weekend, plan NOTHING, and challenge yourself to see how great it is. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Don’t be this person –

Spontaneous tomorrow

Martin has helped me become a lot more spontaneous, and I suggest it as a goal to everyone. You will enjoy your daily life more and “big events” will become less important. In fact, you will probably come to realize that many daily events actually ARE big events – you were always just too busy scheduling other things to notice…

Just An Empty Bowl

Today was a pretty busy day for me – I dropped off my SBF at school at 8:30A, ran back home, worked out for 30 minutes, did a few household chores, showered, ironed a shirt, read/responded to emails, made a few phone calls for work, left to go give a blood sample for a doctor’s appointment next week, had 90 minutes of therapy, came back to pick up the SBF from school, grabbed some sandwiches at Subway, took in a movie (“Beautiful Creatures” – YAWN) then got back home about 6:40P. Anyway, it was a full and – I like to think – productive day.

Anyway, as is sometimes my habit before I began writing my blog posts, today I clicked on BING images and just scrolled thru the pics at random. I am a pretty visual person so I am often inspired by images I see; such is the case today.

For no reason in particular – in fact I cannot really even remember what I had entered to find it – I came across the image of this bowl:

bowl

Now, besides the fact that I would like to OWN this bowl, the image really spoke to me. It reminded me of how people (myself included) seem to “hang on at the edges” of life sometimes, afraid to let go and fall into the fray, in this case the bowl. The thing is I guess the reason why I am fascinated by this bowl is that it so beautifully illustrates what would happen if we all stopped trying so hard to be strong and independent and tenacious – not that there is anything wrong with any of those qualities – but look how lonely all those edge-of-the-bowl people look.

What would happen if they let go? They’d fall down into the bowl, into the people “soup.” People soup. The question is, would that be so bad?

I worry sometimes that I am too solitary a person, that maybe I cling to the edge a little more than I should. I have my life pretty “tidy,” with everything fitting together just so. The sad thing is that living that way prevents spontaneous adventures, delightful moments that no one on the edge ever gets to experience. To use the whole soup analogy again, the edge of the bowl tends to be dried up and crusty; the “good stuff” is always in the thick middle part. Noodles, hunks of meat and veggies – all the stuff that make the soup great, the substance of the soup…

Going forward, I think I will let go of the edge of the bowl, dive into the broth and swim for the nearest oyster cracker! Hope I see you in there, too…

PS – If anyone recognizes this bowl and/or knows where I can get one, please let me know. You’ll have to let go of the edge to call me but…