I think I have mentioned a few times before that I see a therapist twice a month, and have been “in therapy” for probably fifteen years or more. Yeah, I used to be a pretty big mess but now I like to think I have ALMOST got it all figured out, LOL! Anyway, to be honest, the therapist I see now is more like a life coach/spiritual guide/healer than a conventional therapist. I have been seeing her for a number of years and together we have vanquished quite a few of my personal demons.
I look forward to seeing her – she helps keep me focused and centered. Anyway…
Sometimes our sessions focus on a single issue/event happening in my life; other times, we have wide-ranging 90 minute discussions, as we did today. I am personally working on learning to rid myself of decades of “toxic shame” build-up (I know – it sounds so “therapy-y”) so we did “do some work” in that area today (more therapy-speak) but we also explored what I like to call the form of human essence, the shape of souls if you will.
Have you ever wondered what your “soul” – the essence of what is uniquely you – looks like? In my head, the perfect representation of my soul would look something like this:
perfectly round, bright, beautiful and sparkling while, to be honest, in reality it probably looks a bit more like this:
Of course, I am kidding – a bit. I think I am probably closer to the “sparkly” sphere but there are days when I feel a lot more like the deflated ball immediately above. Those are the days that toxic shame creeps out and “takes the shine” off my essence.
I am working hard to get that guy (toxic shame) under control and turn him from the enemy into my friend. And, while I may never be the perfectly round, sparkly orb shown here, I will always try, congratulate myself for my best effort and avoid becoming soiled and deflated as much as possible. It is a journey I think well worth the trouble.
One day, I WILL be “sparkle-y.” Have you ever considered the shape of your soul?
five - a blog 