I know I shared our recent experience with buying a new computer after our twelve-year-old Dell bit the dust. Just to give some perspective on the transition, our old desktop was running Windows XP; the new operating system is Windows 8 – soon to be Windows 8.1. To say it has been a, um, rude technology awakening after more than a decade is an understatement. I mean, WTF?
My Beloved has been working diligently for four straight days now, setting up the “tiles” and moving the “charms” (the change in terminology alone is maddening – what the hell happened to “icons?”) But today was the worst… Today, after running/waiting 2.5 hours while ninety-nine updates uploaded – that’s right, 99 updates – my Sweetie began the process of “trusting” the new computer…
It felt something like this:
I’m not even sure what the hell “trusting the computer” means, but I do know it involved changing what felt like a zillion passwords and requesting/waiting for security codes – which each time were sent to long-dormant email accounts. The accounts were SO old I had to be reminded of those passwords so I could then wait and punch in “minimum 8 characters, a mix of upper and lower case, with one numeric character.” Really?
I am not part of a covert network hoping to deploy an intercontinental ballistic missile attack against Russia. I mean, the security “protocols” on this computer make me feel like I am regarded either as the HIGHEST possible security breach risk or else I am being monitored by the government. Really, what the hell?
I send emails. I waste time on Facebook (and Tumblr and Twitter). I use the internet instead of a phone book to look up addresses, plus-four zip codes and phone numbers. I have a lot of pictures. NONE of these “activities” would suggest to me that I be forced to enter a security “bubble” that seems as impenetrable as the Pentagon. And – to be honest – my frustration is a FRACTION of the frustration and aggravation my hubby feels. He is the ANGEL doing all this set-up work for me/us. He is a god…
I guess I should have expected this transition would be a painful one. As Pop-pop (my Dad) always says, “Leave it to Americans to complicate the easiest of tasks.” Pop-pop actually words that a bit more strongly but that is close enough… In comparison to this experience, I have applied for management jobs in the past that had less security “tests” that setting up this computer. I keep waiting for the computer to ask me the results of my polygraph test.
Really, I just want a desktop with easy-to-understand “buttons” – look, I won’t use icon or tile or charm – I call them buttons. I want to “click” a button with my cursor and have Facebook open, not be forced to answer a two-tier security question. To be honest, at this moment, the image below better represents my mood tonight. HP? Microsoft? You have been warned.
five - a blog 